Facts About New Zealand

FACT: There are more Germans in New Zealand than Kiwis.
FACT: Tui beer makes you burp and pee more than any other beer.
FACT: Rat tails and mullets never went out of style here.
FACT: Neither did Camaros.
FACT: That is unfortunately NOT as cool as it sounds.
FACT: "Bro" might possibly be a recognized ethnic minority before year's end.
FACT: WWOOF is actually just a front to funnel in cheap wood-chopping labor.
FACT: The National Sport of New Zealand is Solitaire.
PRO: Wellington sports less gang violence than Chicago.
CON: It is just as windy.
PRO: You do not really have to tip at restaurants.
CON: That's why the French Toast is $22.00.
FACT: Local fashion chic is Armani with a touch of Cletus.
FACT: T-Pain songs that didn't make your station essentially ARE Auckland radio.
FACT: Kiwis drive on the left side of the road.
FACT: Bus drivers might not be Kiwis.
FACT: Auckland doesn't appeal unless you are wasted.
FACT: This is not an argument against Auckland.