Colin growd up

Several days ago I learned how to use a chainsaw. After cutting rounds for an hour or so a new emotion overtook me, and my mind proposed an explanation for this "feeling": 'I feel like a more complete man'. (Sociolologise that) Now I did not study sociolologie but I did major in being a half-decent-kind-of-guy and I had a chainsaw reving in my ear so I spent the next several hours deconstructing the aforementioned "feeling of complete manhood". First off I will not discus the overly obvious sexist implications of this statement because I had a Guilford education (or most of one) and therefor the girliest movement, or what ever it's called, is hopeless, right Bro. ("sup ladies, just trying to look"). So second off, I know that this was not actually a feeling because the word 'like' precedes the "feeling" (try it "I feel like shit" etc.). I do believe my mind tried to acknowledge a legitimate change in self, even if it expressed itself in an entirely sexist and otherwise false way. For a while now I have wanted to learn how to use a chainsaw and I do not understand why I have not learned until now (my dad has two). At risk of sounding lame or cliche, I believe that using a chainsaw and learning how to maintain it has been a coming of age event for me. there was no defined moment in my upbringing which has formally acknowledged my development as a person emotionally, ethically, spiritually, or academically. Had I graduated from Guilford already maybe the latter of these would be different, but I also use 'academical' in a looser sense. I believe learning how to use a chainsaw in someway marked a critical point in the development of my knowledge base necessary for me to fully support my community as an active adult. Furthermore reflecting the direction I have chosen to take leading into my adult life; I want to work with my hands tangibly calling us back to honest and sustainable ways of living.